Friendships manifest in the weirdest of places. In fact, I think about how certain people unexpectedly leave lasting impressions on you for the rest of your life, and it’s never someone you expect. Those people, no matter how they come into your life somehow get past all those walls and barriers we tend to steel ourselves with and leave an imprint on your soul.

“Dick” was one of those people. For the sake of anonymity, I’m going to refer to him as Sonic Youth, or SY, because the first time I met him he was wearing an old and faded Sonic Youth shirt.

I had applied for a job with my boyfriend’s company for a QA position, and “Sonic Youth” was the lead on the team. He interviewed me with the QA manager, and the reason it was a memorable interview was because they didn’t have an available conference room at the time so they made do with an empty office instead. The manager sat at one desk and they had me sit in a chair while SY sat on the floor. The entire time he just sat there stabbing at my resume with a pen he’d also take turns sucking on all while smiling like a fucking idiot. On the floor. Cross-legged and full of energy that just said to me “DERP”.

“I think we’re good here unless you have any questions, [SY]?” His boss asked.

“Nope!” He quipped back with one of the most cheese-eatin’ grins I have ever seen.

I was pretty sure they were just humoring me and were going through the motions, but a few weeks later I got the call to come in and do the job. SY was going to be my boss.

He was a bit of a paradox to me, honestly. I found him attractive in that Timothy Olyphant way, but he also was such a fuck boy. I genuinely had a hard time accepting him as anything more than a dude I’d report my hours to and then go home. He was just so cool but also such a fucking idiot. I didn’t want to get mixed up with that.

Shortly after I had started my job, three things happened: we went into crunch at work, my roommate and I split so I was living solo, and my boyfriend dumped me. It should be noted there is no correlation between any of these factors, but all three had a lot to do with why my social circle changed so rapidly.

To say our relationship was complex would be an understatement, and I should clarify – we were never in a relationship in the conventional sense, but we saw and experienced sides of each other that is typically only reserved for the most intimate of relationships.

He was coming off of a recent breakup from a five year relationship, and I was young, naive, nubile, and quite hormonal. This was an absolute recipe for catastrophe, and catastrophes were a-plenty.

I guess a good place to start in relaying this tale of companionship would be the first time we hung out after-hours. This anecdote completely sets the tone for the kind of chaotic energy we both had at the time and how it would eventually be our downfall.

On this particular Friday, we had a company-wide offsite downtown for a SXSW event. Afterward a bunch of us went to a bar billed as an Irish Pub just a few buildings away from the event to chat about it and just have a laugh. Several of us were still very new to the team so were very doe-eyed and excited to get a chance to see our coworkers in a more relaxed environment.

After a few introductions and brief conversations, I had gravitated to the patio outside where SY and a few others were sitting at a picnic table. A few times people offered me the opportunity to sit down, but I had a lot of energy that I wanted to burn off so I remained standing.

A good 10 or so minutes go by and we’re all having a great time just chatting away and getting to know each other. A moment of quiet settled on the group as a few mulled over the decision to get another beer or head home. During that moment SY looked at a coworker of ours, thumbed in my direction and said:

“Isn’t it funny? All the dudes are sitting down and the bitch is the one standing up?”

Before anyone could fully process what he had just said I had already clocked him in the face. It just happened; I swear, my body processed the situation well before my mind did. As soon as he had said it my instant reaction was to ball my fist and put it through his face. That has never happened before (or again since)!

I didn’t really wait around for a reaction, but instead I walked inside and started saying goodbye to my coworkers, thinking I was going to get fired for what just happened. Moments later, SY was there, apologies and all, trailed by a few others – including the other coworker he had said this to.

He had apologized profusely, said he’d never sink that low when it comes to our professional rapport, and bought me a few more drinks.

It really should have just ended there. Everything. But I needed the job and really liked everyone else I worked with. Years later, we would joke and reference this event because it was such an odd but poetic analogy to our friendship.

This is starting to get really long, so rather than try to cut this short I think I should break this one into multiple parts. I mean, how do you fully encapsulate an integral part of your life in so many words? It just can’t be done. It wouldn’t be fair to you, kind and generous reader, and it wouldn’t be fair to our story.

No, rather, I’ll wind this one down while also setting tonal expectations for the next part.

We ended up having a really great night after the apology; hopping from bar-to-bar, people watching, and talking about music. It always comes back to music, at least for me anyway. It’s a common thread that on a basic level allows me to start building rapport with someone while also seeing a bit of that person. For me, when I find someone who shares appreciation on the same level (or relatively close) to me, it’s a truly magical start to a friendship.

The next few years would be fueled by alcohol, hormones, insecurities, and financial problems, with each situation set to one amazing mixed tape. But on that night, we were just two young and heartbroken nerds looking for astronauts.