Rough day emotionally. I managed to get a lot of things done, which would have made today a great day, but in complete contrast I’ve fallen to a touch of melancholy.

I’m trying to think of the last time I was happy. Not just content, not just enjoying the moment, but truly happy. It’s been a long while, I know that, and I know these low times aren’t done, but rather than let it drown me I need to look forward.

I have to look forward.

I keep wanting to redact or reneg on the entire situation, but I know that won’t solve anything. He’s already building up his walls again and has a lot less patience and courtesy with me lately, and I worry it’s only going to get worse.

And I don’t dream since I quit sleeping
No I haven’t slept since I met you