After some back-and-forth yesterday, some good banter, and a bit more insight, I went to bed feeling a bit better about things. Then this morning I get a fully transparent text message giving me more insight into his mental state.

It’s not good. He’s not ready. I’m not ready. We’re both in agreement.

As disappointing as this news is, I am okay with it. It’s the kind of closure I needed to realize a few things about myself; I’m not ready, at least not in this capacity, and not at this time. I have definitely realized that that attachment style I have is more rooted in anxiety than in secure foundation. I need to work on this and I need to do some more self exploration before I can really offer myself up as a partner to someone else.

I appreciate the honesty and I appreciate the fact that he felt comfortable enough to be open, honest, and didn’t go the ghosting route. I hate when people ghost.

It’s still raw, still hurts, but at least I can move on, focus on the immediate, and start planning for my own long term goals.

I’m just not ready. He’s not ready. We need to stop acting like we are.

It fucking sucks to have so much potential, so many connections, and be stop-gapped by timing and timing alone. But I have to appreciate it, understand it, and move on.

I. Have. To. Move. On.